Counter-culture Jesus

I'm blog stuck again. This time because I fear that I am being defined by my current "tough" place. Damn, I don't want that!

Can I walk this dark path without you thinking of me solely in terms of my dark path-ness? Can you see the God-child in the midst of this journey? Am I creating this dynamic by blogging about this dark path place so frequently?

Well dash it all, this dark path place is simply where I am. Furthermore, it is where I feel God is leading me. What am I to do?

Here are the current wonderings.

Matt. 10:34-37 Msg
Don't think I've come to make life cozy. I've come to cut -- make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law -- cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over me, you don't deserve me. If you prefer son or daughter over me, you don't deserve me.

Matt 15:1-3 NIV
Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, "Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders?... Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' he is not to 'honor his father' with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you;
"'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.'"

Wow, feel the tension! So which is it? One seems like an apple, the other an orange. Or rather, one is a butterfly, the other a bowling ball. But God is calling me into the tension. Not to be torn apart, but to wonder, to hold this tension gently.

Already he is revealing something. In the Matt 15 passage I run ahead and jump into the tension. This time he stopped me early. Listen.
"Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders?... Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?"
Families are full of tradition. We all have a system that we grew up in. Was it surprising to you when you first realized that other families didn't do things the way your family did things? Did you get hurt when you unintentionally stepped over that invisible line at your friend's house? your date's house? In recent years I have become more aware of my own family's system. And now I am making choices to break the traditions of my family. I can hear my mom's voice in place of the Pharisee's, "Gloria claims to be your disciple. So why does she break the traditions of this family? How disrespectful and unloving! This is the way we've always done things, as did our parents!" and Jesus responding to her, "I am indeed calling her to love and respect, to the commands of God that have been in place for all time. But your traditions are not my traditions. I have come to cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free her, and you, for God."
Ah, it's coming together a bit.

This still doesn't solve the tension of being daughter against mother, let alone the tension of being cut free for God while still honoring and respecting my parents.

"Whenever someone has a ready heart for this, the insights and understandings flow freely." Matt 13:12 Msg

Lord, I open my heart to you. Make it ready. In your good timing flow.