Coming True

The water rose above my head
The next thing I remember I was carried down the stream
Left me washed up on that shore
But the power of the flood still burned inside of me
It’s the way of the fire
It’s the way of the fire
I took the first step without fear
I didn’t see the danger of what the stream could do
Then I felt the undertow
Of all the things I asked for coming true
It’s the way of the fire
(Just one step into the flame)
It’s the way of the fire
(He starts consuming everything)
And it’s all gonna’ burn
(I’m refined and strengthened by)
The way of the fire
I don’t know how long I have been
Lying in the stillness staring up at blue
But I hear the voice within
Say “Come back in the water”, and I do
And the river’s rise is a scary thing
But it always runs downstream
The way of the fire

written by Jill Phillips and Andy Gullahorn

Focus

Focus on your situation, your $or lack thereof, your job trouble, your weariness, relationships or fears about relationships. Focus on your failings, your disappointments, or even your desires. -- the enemy.

Focus on me. It's only you and me. -- God

I've been doing a lot of driving

Wondering about surrender, trust, rest, boundaries.

I like to have a plan, know what to expect. Things are supposed to go a certain way. A+B should equal C. Can you see my white nuckles holding tightly to the stearing wheel?

I've been noticing that as we've been maneuvering through our life together (my husband and I) I've been doing a lot of convincing, controlling, owning things that aren't mine. Rats! not a fun realization.

What if I could learn to float down the river? Maybe I could learn to lose my sense of expectation and need for control. Maybe I could grow in trust of him who holds all of this and knows what I need. Maybe I could surrender to his knowing where it's all going and how it will end up. Ah, but that would require believing his heart toward me was gentle and caring. I question that sometimes. I find at times that I still believe in harsh, cold, angry GOD. I thought I had lost him, squashed him, routed him out long ago. How did he get back in here?

Still needing more of loving, gentle, forgiving, big-daddy God. Imagine that.